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Wednesday, 11 March 2015

A Mother's Story





With this weekend being Mothering Sunday I thought I would tell you about one of my latest reads. 

When we returned from our trip in London there on the dining table was my latest acquisition

 A Mother's Story by Amanda Prowse.  

I am a big fan of Amanda Prowse novels since her very first Poppy Day and I can't praise her books enough.  They are always about very real subjects that some of us have dealt with in our lives.

  In this her latest novel Amanda tackles the subject of Postnatal Depression, something I have had the misfortune to have experienced first hand with two of my own children.   Her description of how her character Jess feels like she has a black cloak over her is something I can definitely relate to and the more I read the more I could resonate with the story. Fortunately for me my experience of the illness was not as extreme of that of the character within Amanda's book but as with most of these types of illnesses I was only a few steps away from being that person. Like any mental health related issues PND  still feels like is a very taboo subject.  I can remember being told by my then  MIL after number one was born, that I just needed to buck up and get on with things. If only it had been that simple.  At the time I felt totally alone and inadequate and a complete failure as a mum and I certainly wasn't going to broadcast the fact. 
I went on to have two further children without any problem and was therefore totally floored when I got it again after number 3 was born. Fortunately I had told D about the symptoms to look out for and when he realised when number 3 was about 4 months old that I was displaying symptoms of PND he whisked me off to see the GP but even after all that time I still felt ashamed that it had happened again and he wasn't allowed to tell anyone apart from his grandmother who was very supportive even though she lived some 300 miles away from us. 
 I'm hoping in writing this story that Amanda will help people to recognise the symptoms within themselves and others and get the help they need.  It is definitely one I would recommend for reading but warn you that a large supply of tissues may be needed. 

Mx


17 comments:

  1. I haven't read any Amanda Prowse novels. Like any mental health issues, the more they're put out there and understood, the less taboo they'll become. It's sad that people feel ashamed about such things.

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    1. I noticed the book was on the daily deals when I picked my Kindle up last night so I bought it, I'm glad I did as it's back up to £2.99 today. It cost me 99p.

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    2. Well done Jo. You can get some real bargains on the kindles can't you. Amanda Prowse books are one of the ones I like to have the book for as I just love the covers as well her novels, but I am getting better I have been buying more on the kindle than off the shelf of late. I do hope you enjoy reading it that is the chance you take when you recommend a book to someone that your taste may not be theirs.

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  2. It's great when books tackle real issues with understanding. You must have had a really difficult time..... I'm glad that you feel able to post about it now. Jx

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    1. Once you've had depression of any sort I don't think it completely leaves you but it does become manageable.

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  3. I saw this book come up on my kindle recommendations - I shall add it to my list. I think it's good to talk about any mental issues - the more it's spoken about the less stigma attached, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing. x

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    1. Jo from through the keyhole said it had been on the daily deals page on her kindle. I do hope you like it, that's always the chance you take in taking a recommendation from someone else. Thankfully depression does seem to be more of an accepted condition these days and most of who have had it or still have it hold down responsible jobs. Like any mental health conditions there are varying degrees and types of depression.

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  4. PND is common, yet there is still a stigma attached, which is just crazy. Sorry to hear you had such a tough time when your children were born. Well done you for being so open about it, sounds like a great read too X

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    1. It sometime ago now since it last happened to me but as I've already commented above once you've had depression it doesn't seem to ever leave you completely but you just become it's master instead of the other way around. Having my dogs really helps with lovely long walks to blow away the cob webs.

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  5. This book sounds very interesting indeed. There should be no need for anyone with PND or any other mental health issues to feel badly about them, apart from anything else the sufferer is already feeling bad enough with their illness. It is so sad that some people still do not understand these issues, but I hope that by people like this author - and you - writing about these things and sharing experiences that perhaps things will start to change further and sufferers of these illnesses will feel more able to talk and share and get support. I am glad that you are well now and can be so happy in life. xx

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    1. It was a tough time at the time and you do think you will never be 'normal' again whatever normal is of course.

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  6. I've never read anything by this author, but it sounds as though she has handled this subject with very sensitively
    Lisa x

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    1. All her books tend to be about real life situations and I just love them.

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  7. I've vaguely seen the name but never read any of her books. Sounds like one to put on my list. I had PND after my third, but he came only 12 months and 3 weeks after my second. I like to think that two babies in that space of time was a little too much, but the condition really drags you down. Luckily my doctor knew what it was even back then (36 years ago) and helped me tackle it.
    Thanks for the recommendation and take care.

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    1. Even though I'd had it with my first it never occurred to me I could have it again especially having had two further pregnancies without any symptoms at all so it totally floored me when I got it again after the 4th one. The only difference I had with the first and fourth and second and third was that with the first and fourth I didn't hold them immediately I was totally exhausted after the first one and had a section after the fourth where as soon as the other two made their appearance they were given to me and whether that had anything to do with it I will never know but it was very scarey at the time. They do seem to be more on top of it these days and hopefully it will continue to be more recognised.

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  8. Mental health issues are still such a stigma aren't they? If you have a visible illness then everyone makes an effort to understand but mental health illnesses are often dismissed with a 'pull yourself together' response. Funnily enough, my children are adopted, but I suffered from Post Adoption Depression. It's a very similar thing. I finally went to see my doc after 4-5 months of struggling and things improved, she was amazing and supportive...but PAD is even more 'shaming' then PND as people view adopters as having wanted a child so much that they couldn't possibly be anything other than deliriously happy. Crazy but true! X

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    1. I always say about my youngest who has autism, that if he were in a wheelchair or walked with a frame then it would be instantly noticeable that he had a disability. The fact that his wiring isn't quite right and therefore cannot be seen people just don't seem to take on board. I can remember being in a supermarket with him and a women telling her child to come away from him as he's weird. As you can imagine I was incandescent with rage. I can totally understand you getting a form of PND the impact a new baby or adopted a child the enormity of the responsibility you feel towards that child is immense. When friends of ours had a child late in life it was the husband who got PND not the mother and he was quite poorly for a while. Whatever the trigger is that causes depression to take a hold for the individual concerned it can be a very loney and frightening time. Fortunately because I had been through it he felt comfortable coming and talking to me and I persuaded him to go to his GP. He wasn't given medication but did attend counselling which he found really helpful. Counselling wasn't for me but is another option. I did struggle with empty nest as they started leaving home feeling like I was redundant as a mum and knowing the problems they would encounter as adults I couldn't resolve with a kiss and a plaster but that has lessoned as the next one has left. Now I enjoy their visits but equally I enjoy the peace when they have all gone again. All part of life's rich tapestry I suppose.

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